){kind=link}
Here’s something that happened to me in 2024 that I’m ashamed of but that I have since been making some sense of. Something I did that happened to me.
I yelled at someone. Not someone I know, but someone who went to the same school as me. And this is a pretty special school because it tries to teach values, which is something nobody who wants to keep their job is going to go near right now. Unless it’s institutionalized religion, and we know how horribly wrong that can go. More on that later.
So, because we both went to this same school, I know that we are probably very alike. And I know that her heart is most likely pretty loving.
But man. I really let her have it. Over an issue that I will discuss publicly at a later time. I was not cool. At all. I believe I had the right message. But I did not deliver it in the right spirit.
I’ve thought about it a lot since it happened, because even though this person and I don’t know each other, we have friends in common, and those friends are gold. So, again, I know she is a good person. Now I know. Upon further reflection, and a lot of it.
But, to me, at that precise moment in time, with me unhealed in general, not having started healing, on this issue, and on a lot of issues—at that moment in time, this person felt like a moneylender in the temple to me. And I lost my temper, which made me very ashamed later, for I was also in the temple. Duh.
So I will say this to you: it’s possible that you have pissed some people off along the way. You were not your best self, even if you were intuiting the message somewhere already. You hadn’t really begun healing, and you were a dick. A real prick.
Forgive yourself. There’s going to be a global truth and reconciliation for all human beings in 2025. More on that later as well. For now, try to do it with yourself. Everything before this moment can be forgiven because it wasn’t 2025 yet. You hadn’t begun to heal enough that you knew your mission was to transmit the message of peace.
All of it matters. Don’t forget you were a dick, by any means. Keep all your memories, even the bad ones, as long as you can. You will even learn to cherish them. Even the bad ones. But now, because 2025 is dawning, you will look at them through a different lens.
Look at yourself on the way to here. You made mistakes. Sometimes, maybe a whole fucking lot of the time, you didn’t even know why you were here or what your purpose was. People in that state make a lot mistakes along the way. This dimension is for learning. Learning requires mistakes.
You were a dick sometimes. Is it in the past? Then it was meant to be.
We are moving forward.
Forgive yourself, because even the king of kings was trying to figure out what his fucking message was, and along the way he did some damage and wasn’t focusing his energies in a way that would truly inspire people in that moment.
He was the king of kings. You know, so people were watching, and his tantrum got wrote down and shared and used for inspiration later. Take a lesson. Maybe there’s meaning in your past dickishness, too.
In 2025 you are going to understand in a way that becomes second nature to you how transmitting the message of peace can actually be best aided by being peaceful yourself. You’re not going to suddenly become all peaceful all the time, because you’re not the king of kings. You’re human. Oh wait. You’re both. Take a breath.
For right now, just forgive yourself for being a prick, and try your very best to move on in peace.
And I apologize to the person I was a dick to in 2024. Right now, this particular person. Because there were others. I will have to make other apologies.
I apologize, and I hope you understand at some point that I may have had a good message in there somewhere even if I was deeply mistaken in how it should be transmitted.
That person will probably never find their way here. But like I said. We have mutual friends. And those friends are gold. So maybe my apology will make it to its destination.
In the meantime, I’m going to try my best now not to turn over any more moneylender tables. I ain’t making any promises. But I will try my God damn best to not do that. Anymore. You can count on me now. Finally.