){kind=link}
This year I understand better——or in a different way than I ever have——how the synchronicity of my birthday occurring on my parents’ anniversary is perfect. Oh right, also——happy Boxing Day!
I found God through music, and I couldn’t have done that if I didn’t have Dad, but I am able to communicate God——tell you these thoughts efficiently and comfortably——because I was given a certain hard-to-get skill set from Mom. And that’s true, both in terms of what they gave me in life, in the skills that they encouraged and paid for, but also their genetics, the parts of them that live in me, and it required the both of them to make PARTICLES happen. To make me happen.
Ultimately, figuring out the answer to the “problem” of “presenting” myself as a musician required my soul to forge a combination of my mother and father——to forge the complete me.
An entertainer, a natural entertainer, doesn’t wrestle with a persona. They put it on like a fucking comfortable pair of pajamas and use it to exercise their skills. They love their persona. It’s the vehicle for communicating their message, whatever it is. But I was never comfortable with my persona. This may be why I spent so much time trying to understand Jung and his journey. More on that later.
So I knew that reconciling myself with my persona was critical to understanding how to get comfortable with presenting the inside of me to the outside. The next time you watch the Chief Inspector video, think about my persona struggle. That’s what I was trying to portray. My persona, my performer self, the self that ultimately has to be merged with the rest of me, and will be, in the very house where I am let in at the end of the video, is chasing me there. I’m being chased by my persona, which had gotten mixed up with my shadow. And, in the video, I don’t know if I want to go to that house, even though I’m obviously curious, because in real life I wasn’t sure I really wanted to take the risk of sharing my insides with the outside. Take the risk of doing a project like this, officially releasing music and writing about how the music and the releasing of it affects my journey through this dimension, as I keep thinking about music and art and God and science.
If you’re into the hero’s journey as Joseph Campbell unearthed and described the concept, you know that when you go to the mountain and you get the elixir, the gift from God, you need to be prepared. The best possible way to be prepared——and God knows this, of course——is to be lucky enough to have good parents. Right? Pretty obvious.
If you start with good parents, you’re gonna be better prepared for anything. That’s why rich people in LA are so obsessed with preschools. And also, right now, unfortunately, why the average American is so obsessed with lineages. This actor is the son of that actor, and this celebrity is the daughter of that celebrity. People are obsessed with it right now. We have royalty obsession now again, right? And it’s related to our interest in good parenting.
We all have a curiosity about how those who may have had more advantaged (?) parents, and therefore more advantaged (?) childhoods, may have been better prepared than the rest of us to do cool things. We’re curious how those people make out. Right now that’s getting confused, maybe deliberately confused (exploited) sometimes, with the belief in some kind of inherent “bloodline” integrity. Let’s pause for a moment. You do realize the whole of fucking history has been a lesson that this idea is bullshit, right? You at least know about Mommie Dearest, right? If you’re an American, you remember why the country was founded, right? Please don’t go backwards. For fuck’s sake. Honestly. Shake off the brainwash. We’re moving forwards. Right? Fuck yeah.
So the answer to presenting myself to the world involved finding a way to get the two people who never got along for more than three or four days at a time when I was really in a critical phase of development as a child——to get them to be truly married and to coexist and force multiply together in my soul, the way I hope (on this day of their anniversary) they are doing right now in their sunset years.
So I had to make them remarry themselves in me. And that is also somehow God’s work. And, to do that, I had to be prepared. I had to be lucky enough to have fantastic parents, each in their own way. Even though for the better part of the time I spent with them growing up——the period without my brothers when I was alone with them——they were bitter enemies. Even so. They are absolutely fantastic parents and wonderful people, and I’ve never not known that.
Reason One why I had fantastic parents is that my Mom is a brilliant, really gifted educator. So, because of that, because she was such an outstanding teacher and because she wanted so badly for me to have the advantages and education that she knew were out there, I got prepared to be able to talk to you like this. Reason Two: But, because I grew up also with my Dad, I learned music and the idea of working for yourself, and I got on that track that makes you feel the world in your bones and seek yourself and, eventually, feel a connection with the infinite. I don’t think this would have happened if I had grown up with either of them alone.
And I don’t know if I would have gotten on the music track and then tried to remarry them in my soul——which is what everyone says Spielberg’s trying to do with his parents in his movies, you know. We all want to do this. If we were unlucky enough to have gone through a divorce——and my parents never divorced, by the way. They divorced in their hearts, and then we all suffered. And they didn’t want it to be that way. Never, period. Never did they want it to be that way. But they divorced in their hearts and some of us suffered more than others over that, or differently from others, or more directly, and that was sad.
But now it’s over, and I love both of them utterly and completely, period. Because it’s stupid not to. Biologically, psychologically. That doesn’t mean we’re in touch right now. I may talk about that in more detail later. For now, just know, if you’ve ever experienced, or are currently experiencing, separation from your family, I feel you. I understand your position, your predicament, your choice. So my loving them hasn’t resolved all the arguments in this dimension yet. But loving them like I do does mean that I am not suffering in hate or resentment. And I’m grateful they guided me well so that I would know to value this kind of irreplaceable peace, and seek it, and keep working to achieve it. Even apart from them. Even away from home, on the journey.
When I went out into adulthood and tried to figure out what the fuck I was going to do with all this stuff in my head, and the gifts my parents had given me, I left them in a state of soul divorce. And, in part because of that, my journey through adulthood has been, partly, an internal journey to remarry the two of them in my self. I did that, after a long, not particularly comfortable journey, by integrating the academic——the writing on page, and the science, and the knowing how to communicate logically even when working with illogical topics——with the music, the writing in air, and the art, and the exploration of the unconscious.
And I think that’s what God really wants. For us to marry these two sides of the same coin. To integrate them. The conscious and the unconscious, the science and the spirit, the technology and the history. And that’s why we, why we used to really emulate the Greeks and pursue both art and science, and why most of our universities pretend they’re still doing that now. Arts & Sciences. Are they? Healing them? Are we?
You’re gonna find that the more money gets involved, and the more we have to put names on buildings and change the names of institutions and make it all about money and influence, the less we’re doing God’s work of marrying the arts with the sciences in this dimension. Who gets to decide what that curriculum is? Who’s really running the show? Who’s gonna tell you what the kids get to learn? The more we focus on fighting over that, and let money ultimately decide it, certainly the farther we’re getting away from blending the arts and sciences in our soul. You know, real fucking education. And certainly, with absolute certainty, the farther we get ourselves away from God.
We are exploring this universe, this dimension, together, and we’re following the journey, trying to make our species the one: the one that is able to both feel God and make the technology to ensure everyone can be fed and healthy enough to feel God together. To complete this mission, we will have to be head smart and heart smart. School smart and street smart. Logical and intuitive. Authorial and musical. All at the same time. We have to reconcile our understandings of the universe with our knowing that our purpose is to learn how to make God go live in as many living things as possible, unpoisoned, in freedom, learning what is here in this dimension so that God may know it.
That’s what being the product of my parents ultimately taught me. And, because that was the ultimate lesson, I think it is really, really appropriate that my birthday should fall on the day they got married. I’m glad, now, now that I’m healing, that this synchronicity exists. I can see its nudge and it makes me smile.
Happy anniversary Mom & Dad. Happy birthday, Stephen. Happy Boxing Day, everyone——the official one day of the year when rich people are supposed to remember the billions of us who make them rich. They’re mostly regifting. That’s why Boxing Day is on the 26th. They put the shit they got that they don’t want in ‘boxes’ and give it to their servants. But that’s ok. Everything that came before is over. It can be funny now. Everything is gonna get healed.
We’re all gonna get the real gift, together. Because together is the only way to get it.
Onward to 2025 with God’s plan for reconciling polar opposites in our hearts and minds.
I can’t wait to meet you all there.